Words Prasanthi Purusothaman
People generally respond poorly to men and women who celebrate themselves. It seems to me the only way to avoid scornful and bitchy remarks from others is to tinker between being incredible or being nothing, ie being average so you are not too much or too little in the eye of others.
Who told you that it was selfish to love yourself?
The society we live in now makes self love and self care appear selfish an act, entire industries rely on the insidious seeding of insecurity. This starts young, we deflect praise, we learn that these things are dichotomous, you are either arrogant or you are humble.
We apologise for what we have worked hard to achieve.
We downplay what makes us great so we do not offend or threaten anyone.
We are told, as women especially, that we can have ambition but not too much because, we are after all, women.
We have so much to offer, and yet we suppress and hide this in order to silence the people criticising us for being too much, too ‘extra’, too ambitious, too self absorbed and up their own butt.
People leading you to feel this way will never be satisfied, whether you belittle yourself or you shine full throttle. Such people will always undermine you and feel threatened because they do not feel enough. The naysayers are often stuck in their own mental prison of jealousy and self doubt and subsequently respond poorly to anyone who goes against the grain of this.
But being treated like shit and made to apologise or dim your own brilliance, it is not amusing or OK, it’s something we learn to accept and allow and learn to believe we deserve. There is nothing complicated about this yet we often try to search for some greater meaning from such behaviour.
Simply, no one who is your friend would ever demand your silence or deny your right to grow and to shine. So stop diluting yourself in order to appease others, to be more agreeable. Live without apology, fill yourself up, you are meant to be more and be extraordinary and live your full authentic expression.
As Marianne Williamson says, as you shine, you subconsciously give others permission to feel that they too can do the same.
For more of Prasanthi’s bomb looks and inspirational words, check out her blog HARPING ON THE BIZARRE